And Then I Stopped…..

I Had to Stop! And then I stopped….. I had meant to document this procedure the whole way through but I couldn’t do it. Things just got too bad! After week 4 of treatment I lived in a blur of drugs and exhaustion. Increasingly strong doses of Hydrocodone and Acetaminophen kept me doped-up without necessarily…
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Awful Times…

Awful time, awful, awful Awful times…. I’ve been though some bad times in my life, some awful times in my life and these have lasted various mounts of time but never before have I been through a persistent nightmare such as this treatment. This torment is going on for weeks and it is extremely unpleasant.…
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Week 4 Begins

Won’t end soon enough…. Monday beginning treatment Week 4 Not a football score but: Radiation 14 : Chemo 7……… After a rather horrendous weekend I made it through to Monday for another round of radiation and a well-earned Doctor’s visit. I wasn’t able to consume any solid food over the weekend and survived on Boost…
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The Honeymoon is over!

Well and truly over! I was pretty sure that my reaction to treatment was going to get worse and my word, it just did that! (Slight moaning section but please allow me some leeway!) Friday morning, throat like a furnace, tongue swollen up both sides and difficulty speaking. I was sort of expecting this to…
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a week in the life of

A week in the life of a cancer patient

every day’s and endless stream of cigarettes and magazines So what’s it like being a cancer patient? For me it is perhaps still early to tell but every day I learn a bit more and survive a bit better. I’m now 6 Chemotherapy sessions down and 12 Radiation sessions complete so not quite half way…
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Week 2 Starts

On with the roller-coaster! I’ve been lax in writing – I must do better!!! It has been a bit of a roller-coaster ride over the last several days, lots of downs but not many ups unfortunately, but I am learning and surviving and the more I learn the better I will survive. I has no…
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Chemo 2

Week 1, Seven to do…

Week 1 begins, seven weeks to do Week 1 of treatment starts – seven weeks in total to do. Let me just get this out of the way first. Then I can get on with the rest of the stuff. Starting Radiation and Chemotherapy treatment for cancer is frightening! It is scary, stressy, it is…
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The Storm

but where’s the good man? I remember many years ago being on a sailboat in the Irish Sea, having retired from an off-shore race due to equipment failure. We were running before a storm with only a foresail, massive waves on our stern, and heading for shelter behind an island. It was cold, it was…
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peg_tube

Of Pegs and Ports

Barbaric but necessary…. Pegs and Ports! Finally today I saw a lovely surgeon who is going to fit my PEG tube and Lifeport. The operation should take place next week and after that is done, my treatment can begin. So why is all this necessary? The PEG tube is a feeding tube. The radiation therapy…
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the mask

The Man in the…..

Plastic mask Today I got my mask. I’m not the Man in the Iron Mask but rather the Man in the Plastic Mask. It looks rather medieval and frightening and in many ways it is! This mask, molded to my face will keep me pinned down to a table, unable to move my head while…
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rejoice

Counting our blessings

With a little help from our friends… I wrote an update last night. It started like this…. ‘I seem to spend my days complaining. Like a child, I get upset when I don’t get what I want. I am in a world where everything and every one is a battle. This week has been a…
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A brief update

We can make it if we try Linda came home on Sunday afternoon. Physically she’s doing great but struggles at times with her speech and getting words out. Understandably she gets very frustrated and upset. She also developed a hacking cough which has been keeping her awake at night and this doesn’t help her as…
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drama

Another drama

Another tragedy I don’t know the person who wrote the script, who crafted the words, who set the scenes and opened the curtain on the play that we, the innocent actors bring to life. Because that is how it feels – like an uncontrolled cascade of events, a never ending series of obstacles and a…
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fat singer

Chapter 2 Starts

It’s not over until…. Firstly and most importantly Linda and I want to thank everyone who has posted well wishes, thoughts and prayers today. There have been an enormous amount of them, and also a lot of questions. Today has been so traumatic that I simply cannot answer every question and thank every person individually.…
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surgery

Surgery day

One chapter ends…. So, now the first part of this story is drawing to a close. It has been a journey of seven weeks, a ton of worry, stress and tiredness. I’ve done all I can do. Linda has done all she can do. We are both worn out. When I first got diagnosed I…
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it never rains

It never rains…..

you know what comes next….. I didn’t think I’d be writing a post this week as everything was going swimmingly!!! Health insurance kicks in on Sunday – yes! On Monday I also signed up for dental insurance on a really good plan and that kicked in yesterday – yes!!!!!! I arranged an appointment to get…
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countdown

Countdown

Countdown to March 4th, surgery day. The clock is ticking steadily down to my day of reckoning and the visitation with Madame La Guillotine! I have to say it is a bittersweet time. Looking forward to getting rid of the cancer but absolutely dreading the process that has to be gone through to get there.…
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the winner

The winner takes it all

Maybe miracles do happen…. Shock and horror accompany a diagnosis of cancer. The shock of knowing you have cancer and the horror at knowing paying for treatment will be impossible. Linda and myself looked at the options and none of them were good. I have lived in the USA for just over 20 years and…
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card game

The Turn of a Friendly Card

The Winner Takes it All I’m not doing a happy dance, nor a victory roll but I am feeling cautiously optimistic. We’re in a card game. We can only progress when certain cards come into play and right now we are waiting for the second card to be dealt. When that happens and more importantly,…
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An I Post

An ‘I’ Post

I before me except after you A roller-coaster week. So much has happened and much of it seems like a blur. I find it difficult to place what happened on which day and now, here we are at Sunday…was last Sunday only a week ago? There is so much to do and I’m struggling to…
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cold, wet and nasty

Cold, Wet and Nasty

A moany post! Cold, Wet and Nasty A cold, wet and nasty miserable day today! Cold, wet, damp, gloomy….if you imagine we live in a sun-drenched paradise then please come and visit North West Florida in January. It can be just as downright unpleasant as anywhere I know…. That said it is supposed to be…
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what a difference a day makes

What a Difference a Day Makes

24 Little Hours What a difference a day makes…. Yesterday was horrendous. Absolutely horrible. Both Linda and myself were exhausted, worried , in despair and upset. Last night wasn’t much better, sleep came easy for a while then quickly descended into panic and misery once awake. Then things got a little brighter. I spoke with…
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Faith and Hope

Faith and Hope – The Rest May Follow

Faith and Hope – But No Charity Tuesday 28th January Faith and Hope but as yet no Charity…The picture above was taken in the restroom at the Hope Radiation Cancer Center. One step forward but many questions remain. We saw the Oncologist this morning and although I guess I knew what the treatment would be,…
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cancer cells

Cancer Sucks

Friday Ramble Cancer sucks Of all the words in the English language ‘You’ve got cancer’ must rank amongst the most feared. Cancer is the bogey man, cancer is the Black Spot, cancer is the kiss of death. It is also unfortunately quite common. In 2018 there were 1,735,350 new cases of cancer in the US.…
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going nuclear

Going Nuclear!

A few words before we start Today was PET scan day. After a less than wonderful sleep I mosied up to the Hope Radiation Cancer Center in Lynn Haven…..at least I mosied up to where the GPS thought the Hope Center was and being astute enough to realize the hurricane damaged buildings probably weren’t what…
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time time time

Time Time Time

Time – The most precious thing A little Monday evening ramble….. We can give time, we can take time, we can spend time, we can waste time. We can keep time, we can lose time, we can do time and we can have time. We can do a lot of things with time except one.…
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frustration

Frustration! – Week Beginning Monday 20th January

Frustration Frustration is running high, about to get higher… I will add to this post as the week progresses…. Having waited anxiously through a long weekend I contacted Dr Beggs office this morning. I informed them that I still hadn’t received an appointment for a PET scan. About 10:00, Lisa from the Dr Murchetts office…
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Writers pen

Introduction

A few words before we start I’m not given to writing blogs. Blogs, especially personal ones can come across as pretentious and rather nauseating. If I come across as pretentious and nauseating, I assure you that is not my intention. I simply want an on-line record of this particular journey. The last time I wrote…
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2019 Review

2019 A Year in Review

Rewind to 2019 This is a quick meander through the recent past and up to the present day. Please bear with me… A quick rewind. June July 2019? I can’t remember….. It started with a kiss……no, it started with something trying to drive a knitting needle through my Adam’s apple. Or so it felt. A…
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cat scan

Cat Scan meets Lawyer – Cancer tumor not seen

Cat Scans and Lawyers Cat Scan…..I know! Wrong cat but a much nicer one than I had…. I had a cat scan done in November and the results came back with no abnormalities. Despite quoting me $1,500 self-pay for this scan, Bay Medical sent me a bill for $5,000. It took some phone calls and…
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